


Suicide Angel

by LadyVamp



Category: MDZS, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) RPF, 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angels, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Romance, Self-Sacrifice, Suicide Attempt, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:34:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28518717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyVamp/pseuds/LadyVamp
Summary: Wei Wuxian is a Suicide Angel, a creature created to do nothing but end the lives of those who truly wished for death and bestow it on those who longed to live. His job was hard and his existence a questionable topic, but he did it well. Until one of the men he was sent to help touched something inside him. Does everyone that longs for death, really truly wish to die?WARNING! THIS STORY CONTAINS SCENES OF EXTREME DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE.
Relationships: Lan Wangji / WeiWuxian, Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén & Mèng Yáo | Jīn Guāngyáo & Niè Míngjué, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, WangXian - Relationship, Wei wuxian / lan wangji
Comments: 8
Kudos: 62





	1. Jump

Life is a beautiful thing, or so it is said. Cherish each day and thank God you’re alive to see it. Look for the beauty in the world, see the good in yourself, and remember that you are lucky to be alive. These words meant nothing to Wei Wuxian. To him, there was nothing beautiful about life. Being alive was a cruel thing. It tortured the soul and dampened the heart. Wei Wuxian sympathized with those who wished for their lives to end; understood them, watched them suffer, and helped them escape.

Tonight, Wei Wuxian stood on the ledge of a tall building overlooking the bright lights of the city. He could see the stars twinkling in the sky and feel the cold wind on his face. The air smelled clean and it felt good against his pale skin. Each light that twinkled below him represented a life; a life lost in the bustle of the city, a life that would easily be forgotten. Wei Wuxian’s value on human life was so small that all the bright twinkles could go out all at once and he wouldn’t even blink an eye.

Standing on the building’s edge felt almost freeing. The wind in his long raven hair was like a comforting hug. It brought him peace and stilled his dark heart. Wei Wuxian loved the night. To so many it was frightening and lonely, but to him it was home. He spent most of his time lurking in the shadows and sweeping through the night sky. Gazing down at the city was almost a beautiful and peaceful experience, if it wasn’t for the sobbing man standing next to him.

Turning away from the view, Wei Wuxian stared curiously at the young boy next to him. He was young, barely twenty, yet he’d completely given up on life. It was understandable, for the boy's existence had been less than ideal and he’d been lost in his own darkness since he was a young child. The depression that consumed him was crushing and impossible to escape. If he went on living, he’d just be a shell of a man; a walking ghost in a world he would never fit into. Wei Wuxian pitied the boy. He knew his pain was great and his desperation for escape even greater, yet he was afraid to act; afraid to escape the pain.

Circling around the sobbing man, Wei Wuxian wondered what it was like being in so much pain. He wondered what it was like to be human, to be alone and oh so desperate. The boy was unaware of his presence. Wei Wuxian was invisible to the human’s eyes, just an observer to his pain. He was waiting for the right moment to make himself known, the right moment to make his offer. If he was too early, the boy would be frightened. If he were too late, he may flee or die in vain. Timing was crucial.

“Do you really wish to die, Jin Ling?” Wei Wuxian whispered as he materialized behind the weeping boy, “Is that truly what you want?”

“Yes, but I’m scared.” Jin Ling answered between sobs, not even phased by Wei Wuxian’s presence. “I’m too frightened to jump.”

“Then don’t,” Wei Wuxian provided, “I’ll push you. Would you like that, Jin Ling?”

“Yes..,” Jin Ling whispered, his tears flowing freely and he spoke and his whole body shaking as he stepped closer to the edge of the building. “Will it hurt?”

“I would be lying if I told you it wouldn’t,” Wei Wuxian answered, “Close your eyes, child, and know that your beautiful soul will go to a better place.”

This was the part Wei Wuxian hated, making contact with the tortured human and taking his delicate life. Placing his hands on Jin Ling’s thin shoulders, Wei Wuxian shut his eyes and let the human’s soul filter into him. It crept up his arms and through his chest to collect in the amber amulet hanging around his neck. The orange stone glowed brightly in the night, filled with the life of a human that did not wish to possess it. When Wei Wuxian let go of the boy in front of him, the child was falling over the ledge and towards the earth below.

Wei Wuxian took a step back from the ledge and faded back into the shadows and out of the sight of human eyes. Concentrating on his next target, Wei Wuxian held his breath and dissipated away from the rooftop and the boy he had just pushed from it. He reappeared inside a dark hospital room. A child was lying on the bed next to him with tubes and wires attached to him. He looked so very fragile and afraid as he lay there in the dark, his mother sleeping in a chair next to his bed with a tear stained face.

Unlike the young man he had met on the rooftop, this boy wanted nothing more than to live. He wanted to see his sixth birthday, graduate from high school, go to college and meet his true love. This boy wanted to live so badly, yet he was dying. Though Wei Wuxian did not understand the child’s desire for life, for he saw life as a cancerous thing, he was bound to give him what he wished.

Quietly placing his hand on the sick child’s forehead, Wei Wuxian let himself be seen in the soft light of the cold hospital room. The child stared up at him with wide eyes. He didn’t look afraid, but hopeful instead. It was as if the child understood who he was and why he was here. It was often like this with young children, they saw things older humans were blind to. Wei Wuxian smiled at the child and placed his finger over his lips.

“Are you an angel?” the boy whispered, “Are you going to take me to heaven now?”

“No, A-Yaun.” Wei Wuxian answered, “I’m not going to take you to heaven. I’m here to give you a gift.”

“What kind of gift?”

“Life,” Wei Wuxian replied, the amulet around his neck flaring to life as he shut his eyes and allowed the soul contained inside it to flow through him and into the dying boy on the bed.

Yaun gasped and fell back against the pillows, the machines attached to him making horrible screeching sounds and his mother waking from her sleep. She only saw a glimpse of Wei Wuxian before he disappeared from sight and nurses flooded the room. Wei Wuxian watched the woman panic over her child’s distress with a smile. He knew her panic would turn to joy in time, for he had just saved her son. Yaun would get his wish; he’d live because Jin Ling gave him a gift.

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COMMENTS = LOVE!!!


	2. Human

He was on another ledge in another part of town waiting yet again for another soul. Wei Wuxian sat idly on the edge of a rundown apartment building in a not so reputable neighborhood. It was late afternoon and the sun was still shining brightly in the sky. A pair of dark sunglasses sat on Wei Wuxian’s perfect nose and his long black hair was pulled up in a messy bun on his head. He was swinging his legs over the side of the ten story building, his eyes focused on the people passing by on the dirty sidewalk below. The air was hot and smothering, unlike the cool wind from a few nights ago, and his long black leather jacket stuck to his skin. Though Wei Wuxian could keep himself invisible to human eyes, he could not avoid the weather.

“You’re early,” a familiar voice spoke next to him as a male dressed all in white sat down on the ledge and smiled at him with a soft expression.

“Hi Xichen,” Wei Wuxian greeted his friend and fellow soul collector. “What brings you to my dark side of the city?”

“I was just passing by and saw you sitting up here alone,” Lan Xichen explained, “Where’s your human?”

“He’s late,” Wei Wuxian shrugged, “It’s hot up here, and I wish he’d hurry up.”

“Only you would wish death to come faster,” Lan Xichen pointed out, sounding disgusted. “You enjoy your job too much, Wei Wuxian.”

“I do not enjoy my job at all, Xichen.” Wei Wuxian argued, “I hate dealing with humans. Why can’t I have a desk job like you? How did you get transferred to scheduling and out of the field?”

“You know how,” Lan Xichen grumbled, looking away as Wei Wuxian waved at a man in his underwear in a window across the street. “He can’t see us.”

“I know, but it’s fun to pretend they can.” Wei Wuxian chuckled, “He lived around here, didn’t he?”

“Who?”

“That human you fell in love with, the one that caused you to be pulled from the field. What was his name again, Meng Yao?”

“Yes, he lived on this street.” Lan Xichen lamented, “I come here sometimes when I feel lonely. Even though he’s gone, I can still feel him.”

“He’s dead, Xichen, you can’t feel him.” Wei Wuxian pointed out, “His soul went to a little girl with cancer. She’s sixteen now. Go visit her instead.”

“How can you speak so coldly of the loss of life?” Lan Xichen huffed, standing up and glaring down at his friend. “Meng Yao didn’t really want to die. He was just sad. He wanted help.”

“And, you helped him.” Wei Wuxian shrugged, “I know it was hard for you, but you did the right thing taking his soul.”

“You wouldn’t understand. You’ve never been in love.”

“No I haven’t,” Wei Wuxian answered lightly, watching a couple pass by holding hands and smiling. “It’s a messy emotion.”

“When will you grow a heart, Wei Wuxian? These are people’s lives we are dealing with, not chess pieces. It’s not a game.” Lan Xichen practically shrieked, “I would have given   
anything to keep Meng Yao alive.”

“Would you have?” Wei Wuxian accused, standing up and facing his friend. “You could have refused the order. You could have refused to take his soul. Or, were you too afraid of what would happen? Any Suicide Angel that refuses to take a soul…,”

“Will become human themselves and forever bound to the soul they refused to take.” Lan Xichen finished for him, “I know the rules.”

“If you had really loved him, you would have refused the order. You would have become human and taken responsibility for the damaged soul you left on earth.” Wei Wuxian   
pointed out, “It was an infatuation with mortality, not real love.”

“You know how painful it is to be human. That is a fate neither of us could handle. Don’t preach to me about right and wrong, Wei Wuxian.”

“Stop shouting, my soul is here.” Wei Wuxian shushed as his eyes moved away from his ranting friend to the weeping figure stepping onto the roof’s ledge. “Go back to your desk, Lan Xichen, I have work to do.”

Wei Wuxian didn’t see much of Lan Xichen for the next few weeks. He knew that he’d upset the older male with his accusations. Though Wei Wuxian knew very little about love, he knew enough to know if it was worth dying for. If Lan Xichen had truly loved Meng Yao, he would have sacrificed himself for him instead of taking his soul like a good little soldier.

After receiving his orders for the day, Wei Wuxian found himself walking down a quiet street near a park in one of the city’s better neighborhoods. It was morning, the sun was bright, the breeze was cool and everything smelled like flowers. Spring was Wei Wuxian’s favorite season. Despite his love for the night, it was hard living in the darkness for months at a time. Winter was his busiest season, for many souls lost their battles in the dark and cold of winter. When spring came it was like a renewal and the human population brightened.

Wei Wuxian liked spending his mornings walking invisible amongst the people on the street and observing their behaviors. Though Wei Wuxian despised mortality, he did find it interesting to observe. Taking a seat at a small table outside a café that smelled of coffee and sweet baked breads, Wei Wuxian watched a group of old women shop for fruit at the stand across the street. They were loud and boisterous, some of them a bit argumentative, but seemed to be happy enough. A group of girls in school uniforms passed them, holding their school bags and laughing about some inside joke they shared. A young couple crossed the street and the man stopped to buy the female flowers.

They were all happy and smiling. Life was good to them. It puzzled Wei Wuxian how some humans could be so happy and full of life, while others were lost in the darkness. What had gone wrong with these poor souls to cause them to want to end their lives? Why were their souls less significant than the smiling ones passing him on the street? This of course was all theoretical thought. Wei Wuxian didn’t particularly care about the complexity of human souls. It was just interesting to ponder on the subject sometimes.

His target for today was a tracking assignment. He’d been assigned to a man who was only teetering on losing himself in the dark. Wei Wuxian hated these assignments. They were long and could drag out for weeks. He was to watch this man’s slow descent into despair until he hit the point of giving up. This is when Wei Wuxian would make his offer and end the man’s life. Meng Yao had been a tracking assignment for Lan Xichen. The weeks the older male had spent watching the small man had led to one sided feelings. Wei Wuxian never once felt anything for his human assignments. To him, they were just part of his job and nothing more.

After leaving the café, Wei Wuxian found himself standing at the back of a crowded dance studio full of mirrors and sweating bodies. The sweet smell of coffee and flowers he’d enjoyed earlier was replaced with the smell of perspiration and dirty skin. His assignment was in this room somewhere, though he wasn’t quite sure where. Usually it was easy to spot a desperate soul. They were surrounded in darkness and carried themselves differently than those around them.

Eyes searching the crowd, Wei Wuxian decided to take a seat atop one of the iron beams that supported the ceiling and observe the class from a better vantage point. Loud music began to pulsate throughout the tiny dance space as Wei Wuxian disappeared and rematerialized on a high beam over the center of the room. The people below him turned their attention towards the front of the room and a man stepped in front of them. He was dressed in baby blue sweats and a white tank top. His dark hair was pulled back from his handsome face and he took a deep breath as he looked out at the people in front of him.

Wei Wuxian stared at this man for quite some time. Something about him was different than the other mortals in the room. He almost glowed in Wei Wuxian’s eyes and each time he spoke Wei Wuxian could feel his heart beating frantically. There was a dark cloud around this man, it was very faint, but Wei Wuxian could see it. This was his target, yet he was unlike any target he’d ever been assigned before. He was confident as he spoke and there was life in his fierce eyes. A name filtered into Wei Wuxian’s mind as he watched his target. He heard the human’s name clearly and thought it fit him well; Lan Wangji.

When Lan Wangji finished speaking, he began to dance. Wei Wuxian held his breath as he watched his assignment move. He was graceful and full of power; his movements were   
hypnotizing and exciting. Placing his hand over his heart, Wei Wuxian felt it pounding in his chest as he watched Lan Wangji dance. He was beautiful. When the class ended and everyone began to leave, Wei Wuxian didn’t move from his beam. Instead he watched Lan Wangji pack his things and drink from a cold water bottle. Once all his students hand left, Lan Wangji sat down in front of the mirrored wall and stared sadly at his reflection.

The change in the man’s expression was heartbreaking to Wei Wuxian. What had just been a vibrant and beautiful soul, was now shaded and full of darkness. Lan Wangji looked at himself with tears in his eyes and shaking limbs. He was losing himself, just like so many of the other lost souls Wei Wuxian had helped. Yet, unlike the others, Wei Wuxian found himself wishing that this one wouldn’t fade; that this one would stay bright and alive.

“He’s different,” Wei Wuxian whispered to himself, “He shines through the darkness.”

“So did Meng Yao,” Lan Xichen’s voice sounded next to him, causing Wei Wuxian to flinch at the presence of his white clad friend seated on the beam beside him. “Meng Yao glowed like the sun the first time I saw him, but there were dark clouds surrounding his heart.”

“This isn’t the same,” Wei Wuxian denied, his eyes trained on Lan Wangji and his heart sinking as he heard the mortal man start to weep softly.

“Will you give up everything to save this man, Wei Wuxian? Will you be stronger than I was?”

“He’s just a tracking assignment. In a few days, he’ll be gone and I’ll be across the city somewhere.” Wei Wuxian stated firmly, trying to control his confusing emotions. “He’s just a mortal soul, there’s nothing special about him.”

“That’s what I told myself when I met Meng Yao,” Lan Xichen whispered, “That’s what I told myself when I took his life.”


	3. Friend

He was dancing again. He always danced when he was upset. His movements were fierce this evening. They flowed, yet stopped harshly with each angry cry that left his lips. Lan Wangji often screamed when he danced alone. It was his way of getting out his frustrations and voicing his emotions when no one was looking; or at least no one he could see.

Wei Wuxian was sitting atop a table at the back of the empty dance studio. His eyes followed each move Lan Wangji made to the aggressive hip-hop music that was blasting through the mirrored room. The darkness that surrounded Lan Wangji was growing larger each day that Wei Wuxian spent watching him. What had once been a faint cloud, was now resembled an oncoming storm. Lan Wangji was slowly slipping away and towards his breaking point. This was supposed to be what Wei Wuxian wanted, for when his target reached their point of desperation he was to harvest their soul and move on. Yet, Wei Wuxian found himself rooting for Lan Wangji to pull out of his descent.

As a Suicide Angel, Wei Wuxian was forbidden to interfere with his target’s life. He was to be an observer and only act when the time was right. Some humans pulled out of the darkness. They fought back against their depression and went on to live a bright life. These humans were known as false targets. They did not truly wish to die, but were looking for solutions for their stresses or problems. Wei Wuxian hoped that Lan Wangji was a false target, but as time went on, he was becoming less hopeful.

Turning away from the mirror, Lan Wangji slammed his hand down atop the stereo and caused the room to go quiet. Wei Wuxian flinched in response to the sudden outburst and hopped off his table as Lan Wangji approached it to retrieve his water bottle. There were tears in Lan Wangji’s eyes as he approached him and swiped his drink off the table. Wei Wuxian found himself wanting to reach out and touch the man standing in front of him. He wanted to hold him in his arms and tell him everything would be alright and not to give up.

What is wrong with you, Wei Ying? Wei Wuxian scolded himself in his mind. He’s just another human, nothing special. Stop feeling sorry for him.

As Lan Wangji left the dance studio, Wei Wuxian found himself following invisible along behind him. He was supposed to return to the office at the end of the day, unless he felt his target was close to collection, but Wei Wuxian needed to know more about the man he’d been assigned to. Where did he live? What did he do after work? Who were his friends? Where was his family?

The answers to these questions weren’t exactly what Wei Wuxian had expected. After following Lan Wangji into his tiny one room loft, he began to realize why the mortal was drowning in the darkness. Judging by the framed photos of and altar of incense in the corner, Lan Wangji’s parents were no longer a part of the living world. Wei Wuxian also concluded that the human was an only child and didn’t have any other family he was close to.

Lan Wangji spent his nights alone in his apartment flipping through television channels and writing notes in a journal. He never went out with friends, never received any phone calls, and never interacted with anyone except his students during dance classes. It wasn’t hard to figure out that Lan Wangji was lonely. Wei Wuxian figured Lan Wangji’s depression stemmed from his loneliness. He was surrounded by strange people, and grieving over the loss of his parents. Did Lan Wangji see death as his way out of loneliness? Was that the reason he was sinking into the darkness?

This theory was a dangerous one for Wei Wuxian to contemplate. He felt that if Lan Wangji had a friend that maybe he wouldn’t be so sad. This theory caused Wei Wuxian to make a very rash decision; one he was sure to be punished for later, but he’d deal with that when it came. If he were lucky, he’d get a desk job like Lan Xichen.

Taking a deep breath, Wei Wuxian materialized next to the coffee shop he had sat at a few weeks ago. It still smelled of rich coffee and sweet breads. He was dressed in a pair of tight black jeans, a loose fitting red sweatshirt that hung off one shoulder and a pair of red sneakers. His black hair was pulled up in a clip and he’d lined his eyes in a thin black liner. It was a different look from his normal style of black leather and boots, but Wei Wuxian wanted to appear approachable.

Making himself visible to the mortals around him, Wei Wuxian waited for just the right moment to round the corner and enter the coffee shop. Just as Lan Wangji stepped out the door of the sweet smelling shop holding his large foam cup of mocha latte, Wei Wuxian stepped into his path. Lan Wangji squeaked in surprise when he ran directly into Wei Wuxian and the lid of his hot coffee popped off, causing him to dump the steaming liquid down the front of Wei Wuxian’s red sweatshirt. Wei Wuxian flinched in response to the scalding liquid and dramatically fell backwards onto the sidewalk.

“I’m sorry,” Lan Wangji apologized, staring down at Wei Wuxian with wide eyes. “Are you alright?”

“You should really watch where you’re walking, handsome.” Wei Wuxian chuckled, his teasing response causing Lan Wangji to blush. “You ruined my shirt.”

“Sorry, let me help you up.” Lan Wangji offered in a low tone, his words coming out heavy accent and short, for it had been a couple days since he’d actually spoken to a live person.

Wei Wuxian smiled sweetly at Lan Wangji and allowed him to pull him up off the ground. Pretending to trip as he stood, Wei Wuxian fell into Lan Wangji’s arms, their faces   
only inches apart and bodies pressed together. Lan Wangji blushed even deeper in response to the contact and Wei Wuxian smiled at him. He could tell that the mortal liked him. The look in Lan Wangji’s eyes said a lot. Wei Wuxian had seen that look before in the eyes of mortal men.

“How about you buy me a cup of coffee, Handsome.” Wei Wuxian requested, “You know, to apologize for spilling yours on me.”

“Alright,” Lan Wangji agreed.

Wei Wuxian secured a nice table by a flowerbed and waited for Lan Wangji to return. He was beyond nervous and a little excited. Lan Wangji’s touch had made Wei Wuxian’s pulse race and his low voice sent chills up his spine. There was something about this human that drove him crazy, both emotionally and physically, and that excited Wei Wuxian.

“What are you doing?” someone spoke, causing Wei Wuxian to jump and look up from where he was staring at the flowers next to the table.

Seated in front of him was a grumpy looking male with a scowl on his face. He was dressed in a dark purple suit with a white dress shirt and no tie. Wei Wuxian frowned at him and crossed his arms. He knew he’d be in trouble for speaking to Lan Wangji, but he hadn’t thought he’d be caught so soon.

“Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian huffed, glaring at his boss in annoyance. “What do you want?”

“You’ve made contact with your target. That’s against the rules, Wei Wuxian.” Jiang Cheng pointed out, “You’re not supposed to speak to them until it’s time to take their soul. This one isn’t ready yet.”

“I know he’s not ready yet,” Wei Wuxian agreed, “It was an accident. I wanted some coffee and he bumped into me.”

“You’re not that careless, Wei Ying.” Jiang Cheng pointed out, “You made yourself known to him on purpose; why?”

“It was an accident,” Wei Wuxian argued, “Why would I purposefully interact with a human? You know that I despise them.”

“Do I?” Jiang Cheng asked with raised brows, looking up as Lan Wangji approached the table holding two cups of coffee and a couple muffins. “End this soon and continue following him out of sight, understand?”

“Yes,” Wei Wuxian answered, sticking his tongue out at his boss as he disappeared and Lan Wangji sat down in the seat he’d just been occupying.

“Who were you talking to?” Lan Wangji asked, tilting his head like a curious puppy as he handed Wei Wuxian his coffee and muffin.

“Myself,” Wei Wuxian lied, smiling brightly at his human. “So, what’s your name handsome?”

“Lan Wangji,”

“Wei Wuxian, it’s nice to meet you.”

Instead of just having coffee and disappearing like Jiang Cheng had instructed, Wei Wuxian managed to snag Lan Wangji’s phone number and a second date. They had dinner two days later, which led to a third meeting in the form of a movie date and then a forth for a walk in the park. Wei Wuxian learned a lot about Lan Wangji during their time together. He found out that he’d moved to the city three years ago to study dance. While he was here, his parents had been killed in a car accident. He didn’t even get to go home for the funeral because he couldn’t afford it at the time. School had left him in debt and stuck until he earned enough money to return home. He’d only been working at the dance studio for a few months and the pay wasn’t very good.

Wei Wuxian also learned that Lan Wangji didn’t have any friends in the city. He was actually quite shy and his conversation skills weren’t very good. His words were clipped and to the point, which made it hard speaking with people. Most people ignored him outside of class. The more Wei Wuxian found out about Lan Wangji, the more he knew that the mortal man just needed a friend to take care of him, not death. He was just sad, just lonely, and not beyond hope.

On their fifth date, Lan Wangji took Wei Wuxian dancing. They went to a crowded club full of sweating bodies and drank way too much. The alcohol didn’t affect Wei Wuxian at all. It tasted bitter and did nothing to him but make him want to vomit. Lan Wangji, on the other hand, broke out of his shy shell and became very bold in his actions. That night, Wei Wuxian walked Lan Wangji home to his loft and followed him inside to make sure he got to bed alright.

When Lan Wangji pushed him against the wall just inside the door and crashed their lips together, Wei Wuxian didn’t resist him. Lan Wangji kissed him hungrily with a hint of desperation. Wei Wuxian could feel how lonely Lan Wangji was and how much he craved human contact. Wei Wuxian wanted nothing more than to give that to him.

That night, Wei Wuxian broke a very serious rule amongst his kind; he fell for his target. The next morning, Wei Wuxian awoke naked in Lan Wangji’s warm embrace. His heart was pounding as he snuggled closer to Lan Wangji. Somehow it felt right lying in the mortal’s arms; as if this is where he’d belonged all along. Wanting to make Lan Wangji smile when he woke, Wei Wuxian slipped out of bed and redressed himself. He then shut his eyes and disappeared from the loft and rematerialized near his favorite coffee shop. Waking to sweet smelling muffins and rich coffee was sure to make Lan Wangji happy. If he could help Wangji keep smiling, then maybe he could save him from the dark?

The line at the coffee shop had been long. It was an hour before Wei Wuxian returned to Lan Wangji’s apartment. When Wei Wuxian stepped through the front door of the tiny loft Lan Wangji called home, the entire space had been filled with a dark aura. He could hear sobbing coming from the bathroom and feel the despair radiating from Lan Wangji’s heart. Dropping his coffee on the ground, Wei Wuxian sprinted across the room and flung open the bathroom door. Lan Wangji was seated on the floor sobbing. Bright red splashes of blood stained the white tile floor and there was a razor blade in his hand.

“Why did he leave me,” Lan Wangji wept, not able to see Wei Wuxian standing invisible in the doorway. “Everyone leaves me.”

“Lan Zhan…, I’m right here….,” Wei Wuxian whispered, his words cut off when he felt a hand clasp over his mouth.

“He’s ready,” Jiang Cheng commanded in his ear, “It’s time to help him find peace.”


	4. END

Wei Wuxian could feel his heart sink as he gazed down at the broken man on the floor. Lan Wangji’s light was slowly fading and the darkness was beginning to consume him. Cool hands touched Wei Wuxian’s shoulders as he felt Jiang Cheng place his amber amulet around his neck. It was glowing softly in preparation for collection.

“If you do not take his soul, he will die anyway.” Jiang Cheng explained as Lan Wangji made another deep cut to his wrist with his razorblade and Wei Wuxian lept forwards to stop him. “He’s lost too much blood. There’s no way to save him now. If you wait to harvest him, you’ll miss the opportunity to save another with his gift.”

“Why can’t I use it to save him?” Wei Wuxian asked as he knelt down next to Lan Wangji and tried to find something to help stop his bleeding. “It’s his life force, can’t I give it back to him?”

“That’s against the rules,”

“Screw the rules!” Wei Wuxian raged, his power spiking and causing his wings to form and extend from his back, filling up the tiny bathroom in black feathers.

“Put those back!” Jiang Chengs houted, “You would sacrifice your own immortality for this mortal man? If you do this, you’ll be like him. You’ll be human and responsible for his pain for the rest of your short life!”

“I don’t care!” Wei Wuxian shrieked as Lan Wangji fell over and shut his eyes. “He doesn’t really wish to die. He’s just lonely. He’s just scared!”

“How many souls have you taken that didn’t truly wish to die, Wei Wuxian? Not many of the souls we help truly wish to die, they just want help. They want solutions to their pain and their problems. We give them a solution.”

“Death is not a solution!”

“What makes this soul so different? Is it because you slept with him?” Jiang Cheng asked, his voice sounding appalled. “Find a different human pet to play with. This one is broken.”

“He’s not broken,” Wei Wuxian ground out. “Get out!!”

“What makes him different from the others? Why do you want to help him?”

“Because I love him!” Wei Wuxian wept as he took Lan Wangji into his arms and let himself be visible to the dying mortal. “Lan Zhan, please don’t die? I love you.”

“Wei Ying..,” Lan Wangji mumbled, his eyes fluttering open as he spoke. “You came back.”

“Of course I did, idiot.” Wei Wuxian half laughed and half wept. “What do you think you’re doing? It’s not your time to go yet, Lan Wangji.”

“Why do you have wings? Are you an Angel?” Lan Wangji whispered, “Am I dead?”

“You’re not dead,”

“Not yet,” Jiang Cheng huffed, “Do your job like a good soldier, Wei Wuxian. He’s too broken to save.”

“He’s not broken!” Wei Wuxian shrieked, tears streaming down his face and an ethereal light filling the room and he held Lan Wangji close.

“Who are you talking to?” Lan Wangji mumbled, “Is there someone else here?”

“I’m talking to myself again,” Wei Wuxian chuckled, “Lan Zhan, do you really want to die? Is this what you want?”

“I don’t want to be alone anymore,” Lan Wangji answered, “If I die, I can see my parents again.”

“Do you really want to die?” Wei Wuxian tried again, “Do you really want this?”

“What I want is a friend,” Lan Wangji sobbed, “Are you my friend, Wei Ying?”

“I love you,”

“No one’s ever loved me before,” Lan Wangji smiled, “At least I can die knowing the man I loved, loved me too.”

“You’re not going to die,” Wei Wuxian declared, “I’m not going to let you.”

“Wei Wuxian, don’t you dare…,”Jiang Cheng began, but was cut off as Wei Wuxian crashed his lips against Lan Wangji’s and folded his soft black wings around them.

As soon as his lips touched Lan Wangji’s, Wei Wuxian was filled with pain. Everything that had been eating at Lan Wangji’s soul flooded into him and he felt the pain and loneliness the mortal man had been experiencing for many years now. It was excruciating and Wei Wuxian wanted to pull away from him and scream, but he knew if he did, Lan Wangji would die. This was the price for saving a drowning soul. Lan Wangji’s pain became part of him, his soul fused with Lan Wangji’s and his immortality was used to heal Lan Wangji’s broken body.

The light in the room began to dim as Wei Wuxian’s power faded and the cuts on Lan Wangji’s arms began to heal. Wei Wuxian’s great wings disintegrated around them, the feathers falling to the white tile floor and creating a soft nest. Breaking their kiss, Wei Wuxian stared down at the man in his arms, who was looking at him with a hopeful gaze.

“I hope you’re happy, Wei Wuxian.” Jiang Cheng whispered, knowing Wei Wuxian could no longer see or hear him, for he was mortal now, just like the man he held in his arms. “His pain is now yours. Live well, or I may be coming to collect your soul one day.”

“You came back,” Lan Wangji whispered, reaching up and wiping the tears from Wei Wuxian’s eyes. “You didn’t leave me.”

“I will never leave you, Lan Zhan. We’re bound together.” Wei Wuxian answered, “You’ll never be alone again. I’ll be here to make you smile.”

“I love you, Wei Ying.”

“I love you too, Lan Zhan.”

As Wei Wuxian held his love in his arms, he thought about all the souls he'd taken and all the pain they had felt. He thought about the people he pushed over the edge and wondered if they too could have been saved. Had they truly wanted to die, or did they just want the pain to stop. If someone had been there for them. If they had had someone to listen to them, to help them, would they still be alive? Does everyone that longs for death, truly wish to die? Looking down at the smiling man in his arms, Wei Wuxian still didn’t know the answer.

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The END!  
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